Mother Turns Pain into Advocacy After Battling Postpartum Depression

After giving birth to twins, Ivana Poku faced a harrowing battle with postpartum depression. Living in Scotland, she experienced distressing thoughts that made her feel isolated and terrified. Now, she is determined to help other mothers understand they are not alone in their struggles.

When her twins were just a few months old, Poku found herself sitting at home with one baby on her lap and the other in a bouncer. An unsettling shift occurred within her, leading to intrusive thoughts of harming her child. “It was like something possessed my brain and my body,” she recalled. Recognizing the danger, she quickly secured the baby in a safe spot and locked herself in her bedroom, overwhelmed by fear and confusion.

Poku, then 32, had been silently grappling with her mental health since the twins’ birth. While she was never officially diagnosed with postpartum depression, she now reflects on her experiences and recognizes the signs she was overlooking. The arrival of her babies did not bring the expected joy; instead, she felt numb and guilty, emotions that took a toll on her perception of motherhood.

Dr. Shahrzad Jalali, a clinical psychologist and author, emphasizes that postnatal mood changes are more common than many realize. “About 70 to 80 percent of new mothers experience what we call the ‘baby blues’ in the first few days after giving birth,” she explained. While many recover within a few weeks, persistent symptoms can signal a deeper issue. Approximately one in seven mothers globally is affected by postpartum depression.

During her darkest moments, Poku often felt like a failure. “I didn’t feel happy,” she said. “I thought that made me a horrible mother.” The silence of her new life was suffocating. Isolated in a new town without friends or family and with a husband working long hours, Poku faced her challenges alone. “Most of the time it was just me,” she recounted.

The turning point came when a friend visited unexpectedly and found her in despair. “There was no way I could hide it,” Poku shared. Opening up to her friend provided a sense of relief, and the support she received from her husband also proved invaluable. He reassured her that struggling did not indicate weakness but rather reflected her humanity. “When I gave myself some compassion, everything started to change,” she noted.

Finding Purpose in Pain

Poku’s journey did not end with her recovery; it ignited a mission to support other mothers. She began sharing her story and discovered that many women, even those who appeared to have everything under control, were also quietly suffering. This realization motivated her to launch Mum’s Journey, a blog dedicated to candid discussions on motherhood and mental health.

In addition to her blog, Poku published a book titled Motherhood: The Unspoken, which compiles stories from mothers worldwide, offering comfort and connection. She has also created a course aimed at preparing expectant mothers for the emotional challenges of new motherhood, underscoring the importance of education in preventing feelings of isolation. “If I had known those feelings were normal,” she stated, “I wouldn’t have struggled in silence.”

Dr. Jalali reinforces this message, stating, “The most important thing is for a woman to know they’re not alone and that help is available. Postnatal depression is a very treatable condition.” She stresses the significance of support from family and friends, encouraging those close to new mothers to check in and offer assistance during this challenging time.

Today, Ivana Poku is the mother of three and serves as a maternal mental health advocate and mentor. Her lived experience has positioned her as a trusted voice in the maternal wellness community. “Many mothers have told me I helped them more than a psychologist,” she reflected, highlighting the power of shared experience in overcoming mental health challenges.

Poku’s story is a testament to resilience and the importance of community support. By sharing her journey, she continues to inspire others to seek help and foster conversations about postpartum mental health.

If you or someone you know is struggling with postpartum depression, it is crucial to reach out to a healthcare provider or support network.