Single Mother’s Milan Trip Strengthens Daughter’s Bond with Father

A recent trip to Milan proved transformative for Barbara Pazur, a single mother, and her five-year-old daughter. Initially viewed as a potential indulgence, the three-day getaway allowed Pazur to recharge while fostering a deeper connection between her daughter and her father.

Pazur, who has been a single mom since her daughter was six months old, faced challenges with shared custody. Despite a joint custody arrangement, her daughter had been reluctant to spend the night with her father, resulting in limited interactions. According to Pazur, they only saw each other once a week, during daytime visits. This dynamic led her to feel that her daughter was overly dependent on her.

As a pre-parent, Pazur had explored over 20 countries, but her responsibilities as a mother had curtailed her opportunities to travel. In spring 2023, a friend encouraged her to take a trip, and after some initial hesitation regarding logistics, they decided on Milan. Plans were made well in advance, but shortly before the trip, Pazur faced an unexpected challenge: her mother suffered a serious injury that would prevent her from assisting with childcare.

Rather than cancel the trip, Pazur resolved to prioritize her well-being and allow her daughter to spend time with her father. She communicated her decision to him, stating, “She is his daughter too, and if he plans to start taking her on solo vacations, she needs to get used to spending more time with him.” After a brief pause, he agreed.

Each day of the trip, Pazur and her daughter maintained contact through FaceTime, establishing routines to ensure her daughter felt secure. They agreed on bedtime rules and limited screen time, creating a familiar structure during her absence. This proactive approach allowed both mother and daughter to adapt to the situation.

On the day of the trip, a mix of excitement and apprehension accompanied Pazur as she prepared to leave. Her daughter expressed her feelings with a teary-eyed, “I will miss you, Mommy.” Pazur reassured her, saying, “I will miss you too, but Mommy needs to charge her batteries so I can be a better mom to you.”

In Milan, Pazur fully embraced the experience with her friend. The days were filled with exploring the city, indulging in exquisite cuisine, and enjoying the vibrant nightlife in the Navigli district. By stepping away from her daily responsibilities, she found a renewed sense of self.

Upon returning home, the reunion with her daughter revealed unexpected outcomes. The child reported having a wonderful time, highlighting that her father had created a “disco” for her every night. This positive experience led her to express a desire for more overnight visits with him, indicating a significant shift in their relationship.

Pazur felt a wave of relief as she recognized the progress made. “It was a big milestone for both of them — and for me too,” she stated. This newfound dynamic not only strengthened their bond but also allowed Pazur to carve out time for herself, enhancing her overall well-being.

Months later, her daughter has continued to spend nights at her father’s house without issue, demonstrating a growing independence. For Pazur, this evolution has resulted in a much-needed balance in her life as a single mother, allowing her the freedom to travel and enjoy personal time while fostering a healthier family dynamic.

The experience highlights the often-overlooked benefits of self-care for parents, reinforcing the notion that taking time for oneself can ultimately lead to more fulfilling and meaningful relationships with children.